I’ve failed at being a runner blogger… ha. Funny enough with how active I am with Social Media, I came to find that run/gym time was ‘me’ time. I spend a lot of time on the web promoting/sharing, be it for work or for a organization I’m involved with or random crap I’m up to. So when I let Calgary Marathon know that I was interested in being a #SCMForeRunner, I figured it would be easy… but I’ve come to realize that I’m not the girl that sits down and writes reviews on gear, or breaks down every run in a blog post. Every time I sat down to write about training, I didn’t find what I wrote that intriguing.
What I did learn through this journey is… I never truly realized how personal my running was to me until I went to blog about it. When it comes to running, I put the earphones in and I run. I don’t stop to take a photo for content. I don’t take selfies. I don’t get excited about what shoes I’m going to wear. I get into the groove and just be. It’s where I escape from life… the stress, struggles and hectic. I decompress. I take a moment away from the life battles, and just sweat the toxic out. And well, it’s where I get my anger/pain out and those aren’t something to share via this blog. I’ve had a lot of things going on in the last four months; and honestly, it’s taken away from my focus of achieving a certain race time. And at times, I’ve felt guilty about this… but I can’t. It’s, honestly, been the best effort I could give currently.
With some family struggles, the mind frame of an intense training program wasn’t where my head was at… It was keeping a float, finding smiles and holding it together as I’ve watched and tried to help someone I love struggle with wanting to live – It’something I would never wish on anyone. This battle is overwhelming, emotionally draining and absolutely heart-breaking.
The motivation to stick to a high level training program hasn’t been there, but I have been running. My knee has held up with the all the training kms I’ve done but seems to give grief around the 17+km mark on a long run… My lower back has been troublesome at times (some days making it even hard to walk without pain). I’ve cross-trained with Spin class and Yoga. I’ve drank a ridiculous amount of VegaOne smoothies, made friends with my Magic Bag and forced myself to eat more Kale. I learnt that Bones doesn’t like being a run buddy, especially on distance days.
Am I where I want to be? Not really but I am ok with that. They have been telling us to blog about our goals and well, there is no longer a time I’m focusing on… I just want to cross the finish line. That’s it. And I believe that will be the goal for the 2014 race season… to run to just run, not to worry about a time. To cross the finish with no pressure, to completely take in the excitement of running in an event.
When I started this journey, I figured that my knee was my biggest obstacle… but it was life.