There’s a few drafts sitting there waiting; none will likely ever see the light of the publish button. mostly a vent during a hard moment. Where have I been?
French presses in the morning watching the news, phone disconnected from the Enterprise and wondering where the measuring cups are… basically, taking my life back.
The last three years have been the most chaotic years of my life, and it was completely my own doing. There’s no denying that I became a ‘workaholic’ and I really really suck(ed) at the life balance. Overly dedicated to the full time job, too many photography gigs and volunteering every chance I got… as much as I thought I was rocking it, I wasn’t. I sacrificed my self in the consuming need to be 100% to everything else. 2014 was the worst for it but finally made me understand the lesson I needed: Calm the fuck down!
After spending 16 months running at high speed, I just crashed… I realized I didn’t appreciate moments anymore. I was always trying to be two steps ahead; what was next in the long list of tasks/goals rather than being present. I had stopped shooting for myself, only for clients. I couldn’t watch a movie without feeling guilty of lack of productivity. I would work on every work project at home. I was trying to be a superhero when I shouldn’t have been – Maybe it was to hide from the not so pretty parts of my life; the hard circumstances that I had no control over.
I’ve laid low this year… taking a break… only committing to a few ventures my heart is truly invested in. and focusing my time with family and the challenges/adventures that have faced us this year. I spend less time on social media. I leave my phone at home on the weekends. I don’t touch the MacBook, unless I need to photo edit (or blog). I’ve fallen back in love with always having my Canon with me. My favourite place is back to being in the kitchen. Although, a great blanket fort is a close second (yes, I know I’m 31). And understanding that ‘busy’ is highly over-rated (definitely not as cool as it seems); it’s annoying and in some instances, the most unproductive thing you can do.
In this high paced life we live, don’t forget you.